Welcome to asshole.club.
This is our Privacy Policy. It explains what information we collect, why we collect it, what we do with it, and what we absolutely do not do with it.
We wrote it in plain language because privacy policies written in legal fog are themselves a form of passive aggression — the corporate kind, which is the worst kind.
The short version.
We collect what we need. We use it for what we said. We do not sell it. We do not share it except to operate the business. You can access it, correct it, and delete it. We protect it properly.
That is how it should work.
asshole.club — your data is yours. we just borrow it to ship your stickers.
1. Who we are.
We are asshole.club. We are the data controller for the personal information collected through this site. That means we decide how your data is used and we are responsible for protecting it.
If you have questions, concerns, or requests about your data, contact us at: privacy@asshole.club
We will respond within 30 days. Not because the law requires it — although it does — but because your data is your business and you deserve a straight answer about it.
2. What we collect.
We collect only what we need to operate the store, run the community, and fulfill your orders. Nothing more.
When you create an account: Your name, email address, username, and encrypted password. We do not store your password in readable form. Nobody at asshole.club can tell you what your password is. We can only reset it.
When you make a purchase: Your billing name, billing address, shipping address, and order details. Payment information — card number, expiry, CVV — is processed entirely by our payment processor and never touches our servers. We see a transaction confirmation. We do not see your card.
When you post to the feed: The content you choose to upload — photos, videos, text, captions. The date and time of the post. Your account identifier so the post can be attributed to your profile.
When you browse the site: Standard server logs including your IP address, browser type, device type, pages visited, time spent, and referring URL. This is collected automatically by every website on the internet. We use it to understand how the site is being used and to diagnose technical problems. We do not use it to build a profile of you as an individual.
Cookies: We use cookies to keep you logged in, remember your cart, and understand how visitors navigate the site. Some cookies are essential — the site does not function properly without them. Others are analytical — they help us understand what is working and what is not. You can manage cookie preferences through your browser settings. Disabling essential cookies will break parts of the site and we cannot do anything about that.
3. Why we collect it.
We collect your information to do the following and nothing else:
To process your orders and get them to you. Your name and shipping address exist in our system because Printful needs them to print and ship your stickers. Without them, nothing arrives.
To run your account. Your email and password exist so you can log in, post to the feed, and manage your purchases. Without them, there is no account.
To send you emails you have asked for. Order confirmations, shipping notifications, password resets. We do not send marketing emails unless you have explicitly opted in to receive them. Opting in is a choice you make. Opting out is always available and always instant.
To keep the community functional and safe. We review reported content, investigate misuse, and in serious cases cooperate with law enforcement. We cannot do any of that without knowing which account posted what.
To improve the site. Aggregate, anonymized data about how people use the site helps us make it better. No individual is identified in this process.
4. What we do not do with your data.
We do not sell your personal information to anyone. Not data brokers. Not advertisers. Not partners. Not anyone.
We do not use your data to serve you targeted advertising on other platforms. We do not share it with social media companies for retargeting purposes.
We do not use your data to make automated decisions that meaningfully affect you — no algorithmic profiling, no automated account actions based on behavioral scoring.
We do not keep your data longer than we need it. When you delete your account, your personal information is removed from our systems within 30 days, subject to the retention requirements described in section 6.
We do not share your data with third parties except in the limited circumstances described in section 5.
5. Who we share your data with.
We share your data with third parties only where necessary to operate the business. Every third party we work with is contractually required to handle your data appropriately and to use it only for the purpose we share it for.
Printful receives your name and shipping address to fulfill your orders. They do not receive your account credentials, your feed activity, or any information beyond what is needed to print and ship the product you purchased.
Our payment processor handles all transaction data. They receive your card details directly and process the payment on our behalf. We receive a confirmation that the payment was successful. We never receive, store, or have access to your full card number, expiry date, or CVV.
Our hosting and infrastructure providers process data as part of operating the site. This includes the servers the site runs on, the databases that store your account information, and the content delivery network that serves the site quickly regardless of where you are in the world.
Law enforcement and regulatory authorities may receive data we are legally required to disclose. If we receive a valid legal order requiring us to share information about a user, we will comply with it. Where we are legally permitted to do so, we will notify the user before complying. Where we are not permitted to give advance notice, we will not. This is not a decision we make voluntarily — it is a legal obligation we take seriously and apply narrowly.
We do not share your data with any other third parties. If this changes, we will update this policy and notify you before the change takes effect.
6. How long we keep your data.
We keep your personal data for as long as your account is active and for a reasonable period afterward to handle any outstanding orders, disputes, or legal obligations that may arise.
When you delete your account, we remove your personal information from our active systems within 30 days. Some data may be retained in backup systems for up to 90 days before those backups are cycled. Financial transaction records are retained for seven years as required by tax and accounting regulations in our jurisdiction. This is not optional and it is not something we can shorten on request.
Content you posted to the feed — photos, captions, text — is removed from the live platform when your account is deleted. Copies that were shared by other users or indexed by search engines before the deletion are outside our control and cannot be recovered or removed by us.
7. Your rights.
Depending on where you are located, you may have some or all of the following rights regarding your personal data. We honor them regardless of whether they are technically required by law in your jurisdiction, because they are the right way to treat people.
The right to access. You can request a copy of the personal data we hold about you. Email privacy@asshole.club and we will send it to you within 30 days in a readable format.
The right to correction. If the data we hold about you is inaccurate, you can ask us to correct it. Most account information you can update yourself in your profile settings. For anything you cannot update directly, email us.
The right to deletion. You can ask us to delete your personal data. We will do so within 30 days subject to the retention requirements in section 6. Some data cannot be deleted immediately for legal reasons — we will tell you clearly what those are and why when you make the request.
The right to portability. You can request your data in a structured, machine-readable format so you can take it elsewhere. We will provide it within 30 days of your request.
The right to object. You can object to certain processing of your data, including processing for marketing purposes. If you object to marketing, we stop immediately. If you object to other processing, we will assess the request and respond honestly about whether we can accommodate it and why.
The right to restrict processing. In certain circumstances you can ask us to limit how we use your data while a dispute or investigation is ongoing. We will honor reasonable restriction requests while we work to resolve the underlying issue.
To exercise any of these rights, email privacy@asshole.club. We do not require you to use a specific form or follow a complicated process. A plain email explaining what you want is enough. We will confirm receipt within five business days and complete the request within 30 days or tell you honestly if we need more time and why.
8. Security.
We use industry-standard security measures to protect your data. Passwords are encrypted using one-way hashing and are never stored in readable form. The site operates over HTTPS. Payment data is handled entirely by our PCI-compliant payment processor and never passes through our infrastructure.
No system is completely secure. If we experience a data breach that affects your personal information, we will notify you promptly, explain clearly what happened and what data was involved, tell you what we are doing to fix it, and tell you what you can do to protect yourself. We will not hide it, minimize it, or delay communicating it to avoid embarrassment.
9. Cookies.
We use cookies. The digital kind.
Essential cookies keep the site functional — your login session, your shopping cart, your preferences. The site does not work properly without them and disabling them in your browser will create problems we cannot resolve on your behalf.
Analytical cookies help us understand how the site is being used in aggregate, which pages are visited, how long people stay, where they come from, where they go. This data is anonymized. It tells us that a page is underperforming. It does not tell us that you specifically are the one who left after fifteen seconds.
You can manage cookie settings through your browser. Most modern browsers let you block or delete specific categories of cookies. We do not have a cookie consent banner designed to make opting out as difficult as possible while technically being compliant. We find those banners offensive. Manage your cookies directly in your browser and we will respect whatever you have set.
10. Children.
asshole.club is for adults. You must be 18 or older to use this site. We do not knowingly collect personal data from anyone under 18. If we become aware that we have collected data from a minor, we will delete it immediately and close the associated account. If you believe a minor has created an account on this site, email privacy@asshole.club and we will investigate and act within 48 hours.
11. International data transfers.
We are based in Costa Rica. If you are using this site from outside Costa Rica, your data may be transferred to and processed in a country with different data protection laws than your own. Where such transfers occur, we take steps to ensure your data is protected to a standard that is consistent with this policy, including through contractual arrangements with our third party providers that require them to maintain appropriate safeguards.
12. Changes to this policy.
We will update this policy when our practices change in a way that affects how we handle your data. If the changes are significant — meaning they affect what we collect, why we collect it, or who we share it with — we will notify you by email at least 14 days before the changes take effect and post a clear notice on the site. Minor changes such as clarifications, corrections, or contact detail updates may be made without prior notice.
13. Contact.
For anything related to your privacy, your data, or this policy: privacy@asshole.club
For everything else: hello@asshole.club
We are real people. We read the emails. We respond within 30 days on privacy matters and within 5 business days on everything else. If you do not hear back within that window, send it again — it went somewhere it should not have gone and we want to fix that.